He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
