Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
