I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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