It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
