Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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