Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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