quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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