I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
