Me too!
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
