Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
