I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
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I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
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I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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