He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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