Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
