Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
