Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize