It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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