I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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