yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He shit in the fireplace
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize