I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
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you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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