Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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