Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
