Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
