My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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