My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
