eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
