im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
