i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
