And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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