it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
