I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
