sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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