I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
