At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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