I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
