you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
