why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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