Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
