Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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