does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
