You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
