Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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