Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Let's get the cat blown out
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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