lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
