hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
