____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
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seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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