I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
