whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
