I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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