so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
