you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
