I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
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His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
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It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!