Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Randomize
Follow @tfln