nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped