You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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