is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?