i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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