My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize