Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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