Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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