Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
