I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
