i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i think i have herpe
just one?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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