how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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