He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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