you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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