So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
