I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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