if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
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I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
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I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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