This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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