it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Dicks are not precious.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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