Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
