all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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