I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
