I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
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And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
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I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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